so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
