Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
