ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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