I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
