smell my finger.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Randomize
