Don't you send me to vm
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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