I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
