Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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