One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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