apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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