I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
