i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
