Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
