Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
