Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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