she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
