I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
