Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
