dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
