So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
