So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
