you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
