dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
i need some magic done to my vagina
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
