fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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