This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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