Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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