I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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