Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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