When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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