i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
