# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
