I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
