he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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