He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
