next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
