he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize