maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
