guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
