he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
