after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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