btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
