Cold hands, warm shart.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just want to make out with him forever
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
