You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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