I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
