i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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