he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
