Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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