Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
