Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
