Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
